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” He blushed some more and went to sit down. Randy stopped him. “Danny, go and change back into the Bugs Bunny briefs. Now, before things get out of hand.” Lucy laughed so much that beer came out of her nose. When Danny came back in less provocative attire (shit, a sign hanging from his hard-on reading “Fuck Me Early and Often” would have been less provocative than the mesh thing) he and Lucy left. Lucy didn’t bother with her top. They were going to Lydia and Crystal’s for dinner. “Damn,” said Paul. “Meat missile test time again. And, no, I’m not going to tell you what I’m fantasizing about. I’m sure it’s the same thing you are.” We all looked at each other and felt guilty. Then, of course, we immediately started talking about football. And boxing. And shaving. And any other really manly stuff we could bring to mind. Friday came around. Barb, as promised, led us to Crystal’s. It wasn’t lockdown night, but maybe that would be Okay. Josh and I picked up Veronica and Sonja in his car.. .. You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.St. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.GOD: Grass? But, it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds, and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They.
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